Scripture: Song of Solomon 3:1-5; Philippians 3:4b-8
Today’s “Disney Summer Drive-In” movie is Up… about an elderly widower voiced by the late Ed Asner. Let’s watch this first clip…
[Show Clip #1.]
The Song of Solomon is a beautiful and passionate poem that celebrates the love between a new bride and her husband—the poem is all about romantic love, about falling in love, about being in love. It captures those feelings so perfectly.
On the surface, that’s what the poem is about. But the Church has always understood that it has a deeper meaning: It’s a book that celebrates the love between Christ and his church.
Because the Bible itself, in many places, compares the love between God and his people to the love between a man and woman—the prophets of the Old Testament do it. John the Baptist does it.[1] Jesus does it. The authors of the New Testament do it.
Since that’s the case, then reading the Song of Solomon as a picture of Christ’s love for us makes perfect sense. Christ is like a husband to us Christians, his Bride… except even more so. Because unlike any human husband, he loves his bride with perfect love…
But if that’s the case, then guess what? The Song of Solomon isn’t only about Christ’s love for us: it’s also about the love that we Christians ought to have for Christ!
Listen to some of the woman’s words in Song of Solomon about her husband:
On my bed by night
I sought him whom my soul loves;
I sought him, but found him not.
I will rise now and go about the city,
in the streets and in the squares;
I will seek him whom my soul loves.
I sought him, but found him not.
A few verses later, after she finds him again, she says, “I held him and would not let him go.”[2] Still later she describes how absolutely perfect he is, and she praises him because he’s so beautiful and perfect, and she says, “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem”—which is the same as saying, “Promise me, O daughters of Jerusalem, if you find my beloved, that you tell him I am sick with love.”[3]
Can you imagine being “sick with love” for Christ? Lovesick for Christ? If so, then you will want to be with him.
Recall the scene in which Ellie pins the badge onto Carl and invites him to join her secret club. From that point on, Carl and Ellie will become inseparable. Carl will want to be with Ellie all the time.
Similarly, when Jesus calls us to be his disciples, the same should be true for us: In fact, in Mark chapter 3, when Jesus calls his twelve disciples, Mark includes a “job description” of sorts. Verse 14 and 15: “And he appointed twelve (whom he also named apostles) so that they might be with him and he might send them out to preach and have authority to cast out demons.”
In that statement, what comes before preaching and fighting the devil? What’s the first responsibility of the disciple? Look at verse 14 again: “And he appointed twelve… so that they might be with him and he might send them out…”
“Being with Jesus,” please notice, precedes being “sent out” by Jesus.
Do you think when Carl fell in love with Ellie, anyone needed to convince him that he needed to “be with” this person he loved? Of course not! That’s what he wanted more than anything else! Why? Because he was in love with her! Because he treasured her!
The question is: Do we treasure being with Jesus the way Carl treasured being with Ellie?
Because whatever—or whoever—we treasure most will shape the rest of our lives.
This next clip shows Carl and Ellie’s life together.
[Show Clip #2.]
Have you heard the shocking news about marriage in our country?
In general, married people are happier, they live longer, they’re healthier, and they’re wealthier than not only singlepeople—but also people who are living together without tying the knot. As one writer says, marriage is a great “‘shock absorber’ that helps you navigate disappointments, illnesses, and other difficulties. You recover your equilibrium faster.”[4]
And we see this “shock-absorber” quality in the marriage of Ellie and Carl Fredricksen.
Carl and Ellie dreamed about Paradise Falls. They dreamed about children. They dreamed about adventures.
Instead, they got flat tires… broken bones… hospital visits… home repairs… ordinary days… and heartbreaking disappointments.
And yet, if you’ve seen the movie, you know they also got something beautiful: they got each other.
God intended marriage to be like that. In Ephesians 5, after calling husbands and wives to love one another with Christlike, self-sacrificial love, Paul quotes Genesis: “A man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”[5]
Then Paul says something astonishing: “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”[6]
In other words, marriage was never meant to be merely about two people finding happiness together. From the very beginning, God designed it to point beyond itself—to proclaim the gospel.
That’s why we Christian couples are supposed to stick together for better or for worse: because that’s what Jesus does for us. Do you think you have to put up with a lot in order to live with your spouse? Well just think of what Jesus has to “put up with” in order to live with you! In fact, he went to Calvary and suffered death and hell so that he could live with you. And he was glad to do it—out of love.
See, Paul says that the gospel itself is a love story: just as a man “leaves father and mother and holds fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh,” so our Lord Jesus Christ left his Father in heaven and took on our flesh in order to hold fast to us, his bride, and become one with us. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a love story about how much God loves us!
Well… after Ellie dies, Carl sort of gives up on life. He gets stuck. He becomes a grumpy, bitter old man, filled with regret. Carl comes trapped in his grief. He wants more than anything to be left alone.
But God has other plans…
And those plans arrive in the form of one very persistent “Wilderness Explorer”—the movie’s equivalent of a Boy Scout—named Russell.
[Show Clip #3.]
Luke chapter 11 includes what I believe is Jesus’ best teaching about prayer. And he’s eager to tell us that our heavenly Father enjoys giving his children what they pray for—so long as what we pray for is good for us. Like any good human father, God only wants to give us what’s good for us.
After all, Jesus said, “What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?”[7]
When it comes to what we ask for, the truth is, we often can’t tell the difference between a fish and a serpent—or an egg and a scorpion.
In other words, even when we think we’re asking for something good for us—like an egg—God knows that it would turn out to be bad for us—like a scorpion.
We often can’t tell the difference.
Early in my pastoral career, for instance, I was an ambitious young pastor, who desperately wanted indisputable, measurable success… growth in numbers… Objective facts and figures that anyone—especially bishops, district superintendents, and not to mention fellow clergy—could look at and say, “That Brent White is doing good work! He is a rising star!”
I prayed for this kind of success… Of course I couched this desire for success in terms of “reaching lost people for Christ,” but who am I kidding? I would have just settled for numbers.
And when I was praying for this outward kind of success, I thought I was praying for an “egg”—something good for me. It was a “scorpion,” and our Father knew it! Success on my terms would killed me spiritually. It would have gone straight to my head and ruined me… as this “worldly” kind of success often does ruin pastors!
My point is, that’s often why our Father doesn’t give us exactly what we ask for. In fact, he even gives us things we don’t want.
In the earlier clip, we saw Carl in church after Ellie’s funeral. So let’s assume Carl is a man of faith and prayer. If so, I’m quite sure he never prayed, ‘Lord, please send me the most annoying Wilderness Explorer you can find.’”
But isn’t that often how God answers our prayers? He doesn’t always give us what we ask for. He gives us what we need.
Let’s remember that the next time God sends us something or someone like a “Russell” to interrupt our lives!
Carl’s biggest regret is that he never got to take Ellie to Paradise Falls in South America—the childhood dream they shared. So he does the next best thing. Since he made his living selling helium balloons, he ties thousands of them to his house and flies it all the way to Paradise Falls. It’s a fantasy, remember! And, of course, Russell tags along…
Because Russell refuses to give up!
Once there, Russell befriends a rare, colorful, flightless bird he names “Kevin,” not realizing Kevin is female. Soon Carl and Russell are trying to protect Kevin from Charles Muntz, a famous explorer turned madman who wants to capture the bird. Muntz has even bred an army of super-intelligent dogs—with electronic collars that let them talk. Again… fantasy!
In this next clip, Carl and Russell think they’ve escaped Muntz. But when forced to choose, Carl saves his house instead of Kevin the bird.
[Show Clip #4.]
A rich young man comes to Jesus, asking him what “good deed” he must do in order to have eternal life. And Jesus reminds him of the Ten Commandments. “Do these things, and you’ll have eternal life.” And the man said, “Well, I’ve kept all these laws. What am I missing?” And Jesus says, “To be perfect, go and sell all of your possession and give the proceeds to the poor. You’ll have treasure in heaven. Then come and follow me.” And the man walks away deeply sorry because he was very wealthy, and Jesus was asking for him to make too big of a sacrifice.[8]
Jesus is always, always, always calling us to put our love for him and our love for others ahead of our love for ourselves—ahead of our own needs and interests—even if that means giving everything we have away!
In this clip, it was as if God were calling Carl to put love first—to stop thinking about himself for a moment—what he wants and thinks he needs—and to start thinking about Russell. To attach a greater value to people than possessions—including even his house, and with it, all the many mementos and reminders of his beloved wife.
Like the rich young man, when Carl’s loyalties were put to the test, he failed. “I didn’t ask for any of this,” Carl said. And that’s true, he didn’t.
None of us asks for the painful, fearful, difficult stuff that often comes our way in life. But every disciple eventually faces it.
By the end of that clip, Carl got what he thought he wanted. But it was clear that he wasn’t happy. What a shock! The secret to happiness—or joy—does not consist of getting what we want.
Have we figured that out yet?
Carl finally does… as we begin to see in this next clip…
[Show Clip #5.]
There’s a great John Lennon song that he wrote for his son Sean, when Sean was a baby. It’s called “Beautiful Boy,” which is on the last album Lennon recorded before he was killed. It includes this profoundly good lyric: “Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.”
Life certainly happened to Carl and Ellie while they were busy making other plans—plans, for instance, to have a baby; plans to go on that great adventure to Paradise Falls. The truth is, just by living his life with her, Carl had given Ellie the best adventure she could have hoped for.
Did you notice what she wrote in the scrapbook?
“Thanks for the adventure—now go have a new one!”
Carl had spent years believing that he had failed Ellie because he never took her to Paradise Falls. But Ellie didn’t see their life together as a failure. Their marriage—the ordinary days, the disappointments, the laughter, the love—that was the adventure.
It wasn’t the life they planned… But it was the life God gave them… And it was good.
That doesn’t mean every disappointment is secretly pleasant. It doesn’t mean every loss we experience stops hurting…
It means that, for those who belong to Christ, no sorrow, failure, mistake, or detour is beyond God’s redemptive power.
The Bible says so: “We know that for those who love God all things work together for good.”[9] Not that all things are good. But God is so good that he can take even the things that hurt us and weave them into his purposes.
So by all means, life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. But for a Christian, there’s something more we can say:
God is also what happens while we’re busy making other plans.
God is at work in the life we didn’t expect. God is present in the detour. God is redeeming the disappointment. God is preparing the next adventure.
Carl finally understands that honoring Ellie does not mean clinging forever to the life they had. It means receiving the life that is still in front of him.
By the end of that clip, Carl is ready.
Did you see him cross his heart?
It’s as if he were saying, “Ellie, I understand now. I’m going to live. I’m going to begin a new adventure.”
And in this final clip, Carl will risk everything to save Russell and Kevin—even if doing so costs him his house, his possessions, and perhaps his life.
[Show Clip #6.]
By the way, I hope that giant house doesn’t land on anybody! I guess people down below would have time to get out of the way first!
Well… I made reference to the Rich Young Ruler of Mark chapter 10 earlier… Jesus tells the man to sell all of his possessions, give the money to the poor, “and [then] you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” And sadly the man walks away sad, “for he had great possessions.”[10]
For most of my Christian life, I’ve read these words about the Rich Young Ruler and thought, “Whew! It’s a good thing Jesus hasn’t asked me to do the same thing!” Because I worry that I would probably walk away sad, too. Give everything away?
And let’s not kid ourselves—are we so different from the rich man? Am I? As a middle-class American in the 21st-century—with technology, with modern comforts and conveniences, with modern medicine, and with an abundant food supply at my fingertips—imagine a king from the first century visiting us in the 21st? He’d say we were the real kings! So we’re relatively wealthier than even this rich young young ruler was!
And I don’t feel any better when preachers say things like, “Well, the difference between this young man and us is that he had made an idol out of his possessions; that’s why Jesus asked him to give them all away.”
But what about me? Am I any better?
And it’s not just money, wealth, material success anyway… I told you earlier about my career in ministry when I started, and how much I coveted outward church success—and the praise and recognition and honor that would surely go with it! Wasn’t that an idol for me?
My point is… what Jesus asked of that rich young ruler he could have as easily asked of me. Give it up. And I would find that very hard to do!
But here’s what I know now that I didn’t when I was younger: What Jesus asked of this rich young ruler he does ask of me… and you… in a spiritual sense, at least.
To be clear: Jesus rarely asks us disciples to give all of our worldly treasure away. And he didn’t ask that of other wealthy people in the gospels, for instance.
But he does demand that we change our relationship to worldly treasure—whatever that worldly treasure represents to us—money, status, relationships, career success, beauty, praise and recognition, sports, physical fitness, health, even family… you name it… Jesus tells us, “Don’t treasure any of these things more than you treasure me.” He tells all of usthat.
To be sure, he may graciously give us a lifetime to learn how to do that—rather than expect it all at once, as he did with the rich young ruler. But this whole lifelong process of being sanctified by the Spirit of Jesus Christ is, in large part, about learning to treasure Christ above all!
But one way we can know that we’re learning to treasure Christ more than worldly treasure is this: when we lose that worldly treasure, we can say something similar to what Carl says in this clip: “It’s just a house.”
It’s not Jesus… after all…
And Jesus is what I want… Jesus is who I want… more than anything or anyone else… because Jesus is the best thing of all!
Years ago, I made a discouraging trip to an intensive care unit, where an 86-year-old church member thought he might be dying. He was awake and able to talk. He looked at me with disgust and said, “I don’t know why this is happening to me, but I guess there’s nothing I can do about it!”
I’ve never met a man more bitter and angry to be in the hospital! And that dude was 86 years old at this point! What did he expect might happen to him? Every day of life is a gift for all of us, but by 86 you should know that!
It wasn’t right… And I thought, “What was this man treasuring in his life—other than Christ—that he was so desperately afraid of losing?”
After praying with him, I went back to my car and prayed for myself: “Lord, please change me so that I don’t end up like him!”
Because here’s the thing: Our Lord doesn’t ask us to surrender lesser treasures—like money and other stuff—because he wants to deprive us. On the contrary: It’s because he knows that only when we loosen our grip on our worldly treasures… when we’re willing to let them go… only then can we receive something infinitely more valuable…
Which is… Jesus himself!
That’s what Paul means in one of my life verses: “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.”
Brothers and sisters, when you’ve found the greatest treasure of all, letting go of every lesser treasure no longer feels like losing. It feels like gaining Christ.
[1] See John 3:29-30.
[2] Song of Solomon 3:1-2, 8 ESV
[3] Song of Solomon 5:8 NLT
[4] Ibid., 24.
[5] Ephesians 5:31 ESV
[6] Ephesians 5:32 ESV
[7] Luke 11:11-12 ESV
[8] See Mark 10:17-22.
[9] Romans 8:28
[10] Mark 10:21-22