Scripture: Ephesians 5:15-33
Today’s sermon is Part 10 of our current series in Paul’s Letter to the Ephesians. It’s called “Going Against the Flow,” and I want to make three points. Number One: Why is there a “flow” that we must “go against” in the first place? Number Two: Going against the flow in our thankfulness. Number Three: Going against the flow in our marriages.
But Point Number One…
Paul begins in verse 15 saying, “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise.” I did not follow this sound advice last Tuesday morning around 6:00 a.m.—when it was still dark outside… I wasn’t exactly “walking,” but I was jogging, and I jog slow… So same difference… But I was jogging on the sidewalk next to the bed-and-breakfast on Tugalo Street, and it was dark, like I say, and contrary to Paul’s words, I wasn’t “looking carefully how I was jogging,” and I stepped on a pine cone, of all things… One tiny pine cone… You’ve got leaf blowers blowing leaves in this town, 24/7… that constant noise! Can one of these leaf blowers blow off the sidewalk in front of the bed and breakfast while they’re at it?
Anyway, I twisted my ankle quite painfully… and I’m glad you didn’t see me, stumbling forward about 15 yards, trying desperately to regain my equilibrium so that I wouldn’t go splat on the concrete… I’m glad no one was awake at that hour to hear me as I let fly some colorful language that would not be “safe for work,” at least if you work as pastor of a church!
I’m not proud to say this…
Of course, Paul is using “walk” as a metaphor here… But it’s a metaphor for the normal, average, everyday way we live our lives. It shows up frequently in the Bible. In fact, back in my Baptist Student Union days in college—thirty-five years ago—it was not uncommon for someone to ask, “How is your walk?” By which he or she meant, how is your relationship with Christ in the midst of your hectic schedule in college? “Are you growing in your walk?”—i.e., are you continuing to lean on Jesus, to trust in him, to find comfort and strength and guidance from him? “Or are you, in some spiritual sense, tripping over pine cones and stumbling and cursing?”
But I love the metaphor of a “walk” because think about it: If you’re an able-bodied person, at least, walking is something you do without even thinking about it.
Yet Paul says to us Christians, pay attention to the way you “walk”; think about the way you “walk.” Look at it carefully. Because if you don’t, Paul implies, you may easily do it wrong and end up on the wrong path… You may even end up walking through that wide gate, and walking on the broad and easy road that leads to destruction—which Jesus himself warns us about.1 Paul makes it seem dangerously easy to end up there… So we must “look carefully then how [we] walk.”
Why does this happen? How do we so easily get off course?
For this reason: there is a natural flow to the world… and this flow is not moving in the right direction… It tries to pull us away from God, away from Christ…
I didn’t emphasize this fact when I preached on Ephesians chapter 2 earlier in this series, but Paul refers to this “flow” at the beginning of that chapter. Listen to what he wrote there, in verse 1: “And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked”—there’s that image again—“following the course of this world”—that sounds a lot like a flow, doesn’t it? Paul goes on, “following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons [and daughters] of disobedience—among whom we all once lived.”
Who is this “prince of the power of the air”? He is the devil himself, Satan. But “prince of the power of the air” is an insightful choice of words. It’s as if this Satanic power was previously part of the “air that we once breathed.” The devil, Paul says, is “the spirit that is now at work” in “sons [and daughters] of disobedience”; he is at work within everyone who hasn’t been born again through faith in Christ—including, at one time, Paul himself.
Paul’s point is… there is a flow to the world… which we must resist…
And even in today’s scripture, Paul makes indirect reference to this flow, for instance, in verse 16, when he tells us to make “the best use of time, because the days are evil.”
I prefer the more literal way the old King James translates this verse: not “make the best use of time,” but “redeem the time.” On its own, apart from God’s grace, time itself needs to be redeemed. It’s as if Paul were saying, “If you do not deliberately and consciously and faithfully use of the precious time that God is giving you, time will either be squandered—or worse, used for harm… used for evil. Why? Because “the days are evil.”
The days are evil?
I’ll have more to say about this when we talk about spiritual warfare beginning in chapter 6, verse 11 and following on November 24th… But “the days are evil,” Paul says, because—literally—there are unseen spiritual forces at work in the world, including the devil… And these demonic forces are using time, manipulating time, using “the days,” in a harmful way.
If you don’t believe me, consider the way we often “doom scroll” on social media. Have you heard of doom-scrolling? Or, perhaps if you’re a bit more senior, in place of doom-scrolling on your phone, I’ve seen so many senior adults while away the hours tethered to cable news. What if we spent that time reading the Bible instead? But it’s as if we’re actively looking for things online or on TV to make us angry or afraid or discouraged.
Now I know, I know… after last Tuesday’s election results, the majority of people listening to me are not, at this moment, “doom scrolling.” If anything, you’re “happy scrolling.” Because for most of Stephens County the news was so good! But not all of you, and it’s perfectly okay at this church to have different political opinions! Rest assured, we all know people who are “doom scrolling” even harder right now! So let’s be kind and compassionate.
Regardless, I don’t think I’m wrong when I say that “doom scrolling” is a symptom of this destructive “flow of the world” that I’ve been talking about. Because the devil loves making us angry, or depressed, or afraid,or pessimistic. All these things are contrary to the fruit of the Spirit… of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
And I’m afraid it’s all part of this destructive flow of the world that Paul is talking about…
Because what Paul asks from us Christians instead of anger, fear, and pessimism is something incredibly radical and counterintuitive and countercultural and even shocking… What Paul asks from us completely goes against the flow…
Are you ready for this? Because this is Point Number Two…
Paul says that instead of giving in to fear, anger, or pessimism, our hearts are supposed to overflow with thankfulness to God… all the time… Even when things aren’t “going our way,” as we perceive it. And that might be putting it too mildly. Because listen to what Paul says in verse 20—these words show up in the middle of one long sentence. The sentence begins in verse 18 with Paul offering an alternative to drunkenness: “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery…” And of course today he could just as easily say, “Do not get stoned on weed…” or any number of other drugs… But alcohol was the widely available drug of choice back then, and drunkenness and alcoholism were also big problems in Paul’s day… So he writes, “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit.”
And everything he says in verses 19 through 21 are signs or symptoms or even positive side effects of what it means to be “filled with the Spirit”—and unlike side-effects with alcohol there’s literally no downside—like a hangover or an addiction. No… the side effects of being filled with the Spirit are all good. But the one I want to focus on in Point Number Two is in verse 20. So the flow of Paul’s thought is, “Be filled with the Spirit, “giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Giving thanks always and for everything…
Now, this probably sounds vaguely familiar, right? We probably remember Paul’s saying, more famously in Philippians, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” 2
That’s close to what Paul says here… Rejoicing and being thankful are two sides of the same coin. And in either case, Paul says we’re supposed to rejoice and be thankful all the time, under all circumstances… no matter what is happening at the moment.
And I want us to ask ourselves this question: What is the foundation for this kind of extreme thankfulness? At rock bottom, what are the reasons we Christians ought to always be thankful?
This is an important question, because, again, the Bible’s view of thankfulness goes against the flow of this world. According to the flow of the world, after all, we might say something like this: “Well, things are looking really bleak for me right now, that’s true… but I still have reasons to be thankful because, after all… things could be much, much worse.”
There’s that famous old proverb, not from the Bible, that says, “I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.” Something like that! And I want to say, “Hold on a second… Does the man who has no feet have Jesus? Because if he has Jesus in his life he has everything!
Or sometimes people say, “Yeah, it’s pretty lousy that I’m going through all this, but It’s better than the alternative.” In other words… “it’s better than dying.”And I don’t judge people harshly for saying these things. I get it, I promise.
But I do want to say, “You know… some day, unless Christ returns first, you’re going to run out of alternatives. You’re going to face what you consider the ‘worst case scenario.’ You’re going to face death. God willing, it’s a long, long time from now, but whenever God chooses, you will die. It’s a part of God’s plan for your life—for all of our lives. Again, unless Christ returns first.” In Psalm 139, for instance, David writes, “in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”3
And for us Christians—ifwe are Christians—when we reach that last page of this book of our earthly lives, this book which our sovereign God himself has written with us and for us, we will immediately get heaven… Paradise… we will be in the direct presence of our Lord Jesus, who once told the criminal on the cross, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in Paradise”…4 And when that happens, what Christian could possibly complain about that? Certainly not Paul! When he himself was facing what might have been the end of his life, he said he was torn between living and dying: “I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.” Philippians 1:23.
But the flow of the world doesn’t see things that way… According to the flow of the world, Dylan Thomas’s poem spoke the truth: “Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” But this is simply not a Christian point of view on death.
But even here we must use caution: Because even heaven, or Paradise, and future resurrection into God’s new world on the other side of the Second Coming—as glorious as these things will be… the afterlife is not the reason we always give thanks… That makes “heaven” sound like a consolation prize—“I hate that I’m going through all this bad stuff, but at least when I die, I’ll get heaven.”
No… Even heaven and future resurrection—however glorious these things are, and they are most glorious—is not the foundation of “always being thankful.”
Why do I say this? Because Paul doesn’t merely say, in verse 20, “give thanks always.” He adds three crucial words: “and for everything.”
“Give thanks always and for everything.”
Be thankful for everything? What?
How can Paul say this? Is he naïve? Does he not know how hard life in this world can be? Has he never suffered? Has he lived some privileged life of comfort and wealth and ease?
Hardly! Next to Jesus himself, I don’t think any human being who’s ever lived has ever had a more difficult life, humanly speaking, without taking into consideration his relationship with Christ. Keep in mind: This man wrote Ephesians years after he shared with the Corinthians his “greatest hits of suffering” in 2 Corinthians 11: He was whipped more times than he could count; three times he was beaten with rods; once he was stoned and left for dead; three times he was shipwrecked; once he was adrift at sea for a night and a day; he was in constant danger from his enemies; he was at times hungry, thirsty, cold, and naked. He was obviously imprisoned on multiple occasions—including when he wrote Ephesians. 5
And then there was the additional problem he describes in 2 Corinthians 12… the issue of the “thorn in the flesh.” 6 No one knows what it was—perhaps a physical ailment or disability, perhaps mental anguish or lingering physical pain from his many injuries—but whatever it was it caused him great suffering. And he says that three times he pleaded with the Lord to take away this thorn.
But he says, ultimately, even this thorn was—get this—a gift from God.7 Why did God give him this severe gift? He says: “to keep me from becoming conceited.” To keep his pride in check, to keep him humble. And to teach him that God’s grace is sufficient, and that when we’re weak, God is strong.
Our problem is that we may not want greater humility, increased faith, a greater sense of God’s presence and power, a closer, more intimate relationship with Christ… but guess what? God wants us to have those things!
And Paul writes about the redemptive role of suffering elsewhere. To the persecuted church in Rome, he writes,
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.8
My point is, even this painful “thorn in the flesh,” which Paul was likely still dealing with years later when he wrote today’s scripture… even this thorn was a gift for which Paul can say, “Thank you.”
Whew… I’m not saying this is easy. This is advanced Christianity. And it’s true.
And this is the foundation of constant thankfulness: Our core Christian conviction that our sovereign God is using everything that happens to us—his adopted children through faith—for our good. God is transforming everything that happens to us—his adopted children through faith—for our good.
But this hardly means that the things of life don’t at times hurt us badly. This thorn, after all, hurt Paul badly.. And this hardly means that God doesn’t want us to pray to take away this pain and suffering. Paul himself prayed mightily to the Lord, and that’s a good thing… In fact, one reason that God sends us thorns in the first place is that we’ll cry out to him in prayer.
I do my best praying when I’m in pain, or afraid, or angry about whatever “thorns” God won’t immediately remove from my flesh! How about you?
So… thorns are painful; it’s very good pray that God will remove them; but, like Paul, we need to be willing to accept God’s answer, even when that answer is no… Because we trust that God has good reasons for telling us no.
Well, that’s Point Number Two… Our constant thankfulness goes against the flow…
Finally, Point Number Three… We must go against the flow when it comes to marriage.
Today’s scripture includes my favorite Bible passage related to marriage. In fact, at Townshend and Lydia’s a few weeks ago I preached on this particular passage. But let me first clear up an important misconception about the controversial verse 22: Paul says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” And I know that some people think, “There it is… Paul is being a chauvinist. After all, he doesn’t ask the husband to submit to his wife!”
That’s true… Not directly… Instead, he writes, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”9 Christ willingly submitted to the most agonizing form of execution imaginable… and even more, he willingly “submitted” to experiencing hell itself on the cross—which he endured when he cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me.” And he “submitted” to torture, death, and hell all for the sake of his love for us, his bride, the church.”
And Paul says, “Husbands love your wives like that.”
Remember Jesus’ performing the most humble act of service imaginable, in the world of the first century, and washing his disciples’ feet? Call it whatever you like, that looks a lot like “submission,” too!
And why wouldn’t it? Because notice that the very thing Paul asks of wives in verse 22—to “submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord”—he asks of all Christians in the verse right before it! See verse 21… In other words, a positive side effect of “being filled with the Spirit” in verse 18 is “submitting to one another out of reverence to Christ.” Read the love chapter of 1 Corinthians 13: that describes a love that submits to one another. Or how about Philippians 2:3: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” That describes a love that submits to one another. And husbands and wives each must love one another like that!
I hope that helps…
Here’s the most important point I need to make about marriage… The flow of the world concerning marriage is very different from what today’s scripture teaches. According to the flow of the world, a good marriage is all about what we ourselves get out of it. It fulfills us… It “fills up our tank.” It satisfies our souls. It brings us great joy and happiness… because if only we find the “right match”… if only we find “the one,” then all our hopes and dreams will come true.
But this is a lie…
Look again at verses 18 and 19: “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart.”
Singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart…
So… according to Paul, one “side effect” or consequence of being “filled with the Spirit” is being able to sing and make melody to the Lord with our hearts. And remember, the Holy Spirit is none other than the Spirit of Jesus Christ himself…
So if one consequence of being in a living relationship with God through Christ—of being filled with the Spirit, of having the Spirit of Christ dwell within us… if one consequence of all that is being able to “sing and make melody to the Lord with our hearts,” how much happier and more joyful and more satisfied and more contented and more fulfilled do we need to be?
I’m serious! Life doesn’t get any better than when we are able to “sing and make melody with our hearts.” And that is what a relationship with Christ offers us! That’s why this church “treasures Christ above all and helps others do the same.”
I saw a video on Instagram last week about the drummer of one of my favorite rock bands, Keith Moon of the band The Who. My son Townshend literally gets his name from the leader of that band, so I love the Who! Anyway, Keith Moon died in 1978. And the narrator of this video literally begins by saying these words, “No lived life more fully than Keith Moon.” And I wanted to say, “Are you kidding? This rock star died of alcohol poisoning at age 32!” While I agree that according to the “flow of the world,” Keith Moon lived life to the “fullest,” doing so literally killed him and orphaned his 12-year-old daughter!
Is that what it means to live life to the fullest? Maybe according to the “flow of the world”…
But let’s show the world a better way… the only way to lasting happiness, joy, contentment, satisfaction, and peace… comes through a living relationship with God through his Son Jesus Christ. In Christ, all of our deepest needs are already being met… They’re not met through a spouse, or a career, or wealth, or family, or power, or popularity, or politics, or sports, or anything else… They’re only met through Christ…
… Who says, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. Anyone who hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.”…
[Invitation…]