“Meaning of Marriage” reflection questions, Week 4

March 20, 2014


We covered the following questions at our March 16 meeting. (Click to download questions as a separate Word file.) Among other things, we talked about the challenge married couples face “leaving and cleaving”—leaving their families of origins behind and cleaving to their spouse. Everyone agreed that establishing boundaries between a couple and in-laws was a problem. To that end, I showed the following clips from “The Letter,” an unforgettable episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.

Chapter 4

Who is the “us” of Genesis 1:26 (“Let us make man in our own image.”)? What clue does this offer about the reason for marriage?

Keller says that when God created Eve as a “helper-companion” for Adam, more than anything else God gave Adam a friend. Do you agree that friendship is the most important aspect of a marriage? Do you agree with Keller that your spouse should be your best friend?

Does your marriage make friendship with your spouse a priority?

What is sanctification and how does marriage relate to it? What does Keller say is more important than compatibility when choosing your potential mate?

Re-read the illustration of Michelangelo making his statue David. How does this relate to your spouse? Keller says that our spouses are always “works in progress.” How do we help shape our spouses in such a way that doesn’t annoy them or foster resentment?

Name some ways in which your spouse has made you into a better person.

Citing Paul’s words in Ephesians 5, Paul says that your ultimate job as a spouse is to help your spouse love Jesus more than he or she loves you. Why is this “paradoxical”?

How do single people often go wrong when looking for a potential marriage partner?

Has your own marriage experienced problems because one partner or the other hasn’t sufficiently “left” their family or origin to “cleave” to their spouse? Describe them.

What are “pseudo-spouses”? Do you see evidence of them in your own marriage. Re-read the paragraphs related to parents loving children more than one another.  Respond to these words from a marriage counselor: “The best way for you to be a great mother to your daughter is by being a great wife to your husband. That is the main thing your daughter needs from you.”

Keller says, citing Ephesians 5, that purpose of marriage is to “make us holy.” How does holiness relate to happiness?

What does C.S. Lewis mean when he writes, “If we will not learn to eat the only food the universe grows—the only food that any possible universe can ever grow—then we must starve eternally”?

Marriage Link

Listen to this song by Elvis Costello and the Brodsky Quartet called “For Other Eyes.” What is the narrator struggling with in the song? Why can’t the narrator forgive her husband? If you were the husband in this situation, what would you do? Is there hope for this couple?

2 Responses to ““Meaning of Marriage” reflection questions, Week 4”

  1. Natalie Edwards Says:

    Yay! Thanks Brent!

    Sent from my iPad


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