You’ve heard it said, I’m sure, that the opposite of love is not hatred but indifference. I believe it. That’s why family fights are often the ugliest and most vicious fights of all. “You always hurt the one you love,” and all that.
I thought of this when a clergy friend on Facebook pointed me to this article in the New York Times about the mainline Presbyterian church’s decision this week to permit the ordination of gay clergy who are in committed, monogamous relationships. In other words, contrary to the United Methodist Church’s position, if you’re gay and you want to be ordained, you don’t have to be celibate.
In a parenthetical aside, the article says, “The largest mainline Protestant denomination, the United Methodist Church, is still fighting over the issue.”
My clergy friend said that that sentence doesn’t shine a flattering light on the UMC. Actually, that sentence gives our church more credit than it deserves. If only we were fighting about it! I would love to see that fight—both sides fully engaged in making an actual argument, honoring our primary emphasis on scripture, while also marshaling tradition, reason, and experience. That would be awesome! More importantly, that would be a fully Christian way to move forward on this issue.
I disliked the retired Methodist bishops’ statement earlier this year because it failed to put forth an argument other than “We’re losing members and doesn’t discriminating against homosexuals feel wrong?”—which isn’t an argument. It would have been wise for these retired bishops to convene a meeting with clergy and theologians on both sides of the issue—including those retired bishops who disagree with them—and actually discuss these areas of disagreement. Wesley would call this “Christian conferencing.”
And even if it looked like “fighting” to the outside world, it would be far more loving than tossing a verbal grenade over the ramparts and ducking. That’s mostly all we ever do when it comes to this issue.